Did you know Mother’s Day is Sunday?!

I keep reading reminders on various websites and in a myriad of emails that Mother’s Day is Sunday. Guess what!? I know! Apparently though there are many women’s children who need this reminder, daily, everywhere they look.

Over the past two Mother’s Days I’ve had people ask me if Mother’s Day is a tough day for me (because my mom passed away in June 2009). The honest truth is no it isn’t. I think it’s because I, too, am a mom and my focus turns to my children rather than my mother on that specific day. Sure I miss her and Mother’s Day was a frequent time I would fly to Florida to visit her. But I believe she would smile when I say, “Now it’s all about me.” Whether jokingly or not she would often say those exact words.

I grieved her cancer the same way I’ve grieved her death; with laughter. Sure there are tears occasionally. Some people might find this offensive, but the most I cried was when my siblings and I made the decision in the cardiac intensive care unit waiting room to honor her DNR (do not resuscitate). At the time I was enrolled in a counseling class entitled “Development over the Lifespan”. I read the chapter on death, dying and grief as I was dealing with the immediate aftermath of her death. Wondering if there was something wrong with me I was relieved to read that I was resilient, not insensitive.

The first Mother’s Day after her passing I “scattered” my 1/3 of her ashes and last Mother’s Day I planted flowers, as has become the tradition in my family, from before she passed away. She loved flowers and there is no better way for me to remember her on that day than to shop for and plant flowers.

So, stop emailing me that it’s Mother’s Day on Sunday and stop posting it around Facebook and on other websites I frequent because guess what?! I don’t have to send a card today for it to get there on time or order flowers at the last minute pretending I did it weeks ago.

On that day it’s all about me. I don't need to be reminded.