Idiom? Speaking

I’m sick as a dog, at least that’s what I said last night. I never had a sick dog so I’m not really sure how sick that is or how long it will be until I’m feeling better. While we’re on it I’d like to meet the baby the metaphor (?) “sleep like a baby” was worded after. My babies were wonderful, but light sleepers. I think a more honest sentence would be; I slept like a baby last night, I was up every two hours. Which I was, leading me to say I’m still sick as a dog.  I do remember a friend having a sick dog once in college and she was told to feed it rice.  Rice? Is that what’s for lunch today? I’d just be happy to sleep like a rock right now.

September 11th: Previously Known as the Day After my Birthday

A few days before my birthday I gave my friends on Facebook a warning. This is what it said, “In less than 48 hours Facebook will inform you that it's my birthday. Although I thank you for your happy birthdays ahead of time, I would really enjoy it if you can post a joke or story on my wall in place of "Happy Birthday".”

As much as I enjoy reconnecting and staying connected with friends and family via Facebook I do not feel the love on my birthday when 50+ friends simply put, “Happy Birthday” on my wall. Last year I asked for a memory of our relationship and got some great ones that I had forgotten over the years. This year’s request resulted in friends and family across the world providing me with smiles and laughter all day long; what more could I ask for on my birthday? Several hours of my birthday were spent home alone, so the smiles and laughter were greatly appreciated.

Up until 11 years ago I simply felt the day after birthday blues on September 11^th, but now I feel a pit in my stomach and a longing to have my kids close to me. I will be in their school this afternoon, which provides comfort to me, but tonight I have a meeting to attend and am not looking forward to the short drive along the Interstate alone. With that said I continue to be thankful to be living in a small Midwest “city” where I convince myself I am out of harm’s way.

So, today on a day we could all use a laugh or smile I am sharing some of the jokes and stories I received yesterday. There really isn’t anything wrong with re-gifting, right?

• What did 0 (zero) say to 8?    ~ Nice Belt

• I was going to make you a rum cake, but now it’s just a cake and I’m drunk.

• When I get old I don’t want people to  say “Oh what a sweet little old lady”..I want them to say “Oh hell what is she up to now”

• I don't know any jokes so thought of the last thing that made me laugh until I cried. Please read nothing into my character or feelings toward you, just a laugh & my sincerest wishes for an amazing birthday!!

http://pinterest.com/pin/121245414939209881/ (Click on the picture after you click on this link)

• A blonde goes out for a run. She comes to a river and cannot see a bridge anywhere nearby. She spots another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoohoo doll!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You're already on the other side!"

• Three men walked into a bar and the fourth one ducked.

• "Community Service: isn't just for celebrity convicts."

• Well lets see.... This one my nephew told me... Why did the farmer throw the butter out the window? He wanted to see the butter fly! Not so funny. My daughter did tell her dad that she and I played soccer in our undies in the backyard today.... That mental image should get you laughing! Happy Birthday!!! P.s. I did no such thing.... (names have been deleted to protect the innocent J

•  What do you call a fake noodle? ~ An impasta

• I have no jokes but will let you know that my son was mad at me this morning over a Bandaid. Have a great day and Happy Birthday!

• A dyslexic man walks into a bra…

• What did the pre k teacher say to one of her favorite alum. moms on her birthday? Why, Happy Birthday, of course :)

• Knock knock!

Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting co MOOOOOOOO!

•  What is a potatoes least favorite day of the week?  ~ Fryday

• So. I saw your post the other day, and thought 'How neat, I'm sure I can come up with something, and how handy that she gave us a couple of days to think of something"

Today I have nothing, partly because I'm incompetent and forgot, and partly because I'm not sure I can think of any funny stories, well, besides 'Youthanise America'. Then I thought I could tell you a funny story about Melinda, since you'd find that just as funny, but she put the passive-aggressive kibosh on that idea.

It's your birthday, and all I got you was a rambling, nonsensical post about how I got you nothing. Man, birthdays are *hard* dude.

• I remember this time I was going to wish my friend a happy birthday, but she said she didn't want people to wish her a happy birthday; she only wanted jokes and stories... so I was just sitting staring stupidly at the screen because I don't know any jokes or stories... this continued for some time, until it ended.

Yes, I CAN Believe She’s in Kindergarten

Excited about tomorrow...first day of school for my third grader and a teacher orientation with my kindergartner! I love that I don't wonder where the past nearly 6 years went and I’m not asking myself if I really have a kindergartner. The answer is she’s been with me for all that time (with the exception of two years of part-time daycare while I finished up my master’s degree).

September 15^th marks six years ago that I worked full-time. At this time, that year, I was pouring with Type A qualities; making lists and schedules of how my newborn, toddler and I would fill our days. I had decided to be a stay-at-a-home, but not for one nanosecond did I believe I could truly “stay home” and be happy. At the drop of a hat I could tell anyone when storytimes, playgroups, or other child-centered activities were during the week.

Now I am busy filling my schedule with the time they are both at school. There will be no sitting on the couch watching movies. I am beginning a part-time job (more about that another time), and continuing to do the occasional subbing at my kids’ school, more volunteering in the school (hoping for some of it to be in their classrooms) and of course more running now that I can get back on a schedule! Half marathon in early November!

Six years ago many, many people told me that I would never regret staying at home with my kids and I thank them for their support and encouragement because guess what? They were all 100% correct. As for those lists and schedules I made, I’m so glad I had them for when we really needed them.

Part-time is perfect for me at this stage of motherhood. What job is perfect for you at this point in your life?