5th Annual Love Runs through 5K for Sandy Hook

Five years ago I gathered a group of friends and friends of friends and ran my first “virtual” race; it was for Sandy Hook. The race, for me, was more than a 5K, so I developed a race course that was longer in length, and more meaningful in my heart. I mapped a course that would take us passed six of the nine elementary schools in my town. The other three just added too much mileage for my legs. At each school I would touch the flagpole (almost like a check in point). When I think of Newtown I think of many things, but first and foremost I think about the flagpole in the town’s center, in the middle of the road. So, this is how I would connect my running with the town. At the last school a friend showed support by leaving a case of water by the flagpole and some encouraging words in chalk. 

That was five years ago. This year I set out to run it again, virtually. I mapped a course that was shorter than before (my running has lapsed this year); it would take me by four elementary schools and my son’s middle school. I sent a quieter word out and two friends said they would try to join me. Yesterday at 8:00 I set out to run 9+ miles solo. At first I dwelled on doing it alone; I felt I needed the company from my friends to get me through the distance. Just as I was getting into a running groove, realizing each school was less than 2.5 miles apart, I saw a pair of Mallard ducks up ahead on the sidewalk. Seeing ducks in yards in my neighborhood is not unheard of, for the past two years I have surprisingly had a duck build a nest in my yard, but it is certainly still rare! Two ducks getting ready to cross the street in front of a city bus! I ran behind them encouraging them to waddle faster…the bus driver saw me and slowed down and smiled, I waved, then crossed the street again continuing on my run. DUCKS! I have seen turtles, rabbits, deer, even cows on my runs before, but never ducks! This was all the encouragement I needed. (check out this story from February 2013: http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/on-air/as-seen-on/Ducks-Of-Sandy-Hook_Hartford.html) 

During my run I thought about kids; my kids, the kids of Sandy Hook, all the kids I have been lucky enough to cross paths with. At State Road I thought about a student I met with weekly during my school counseling internship — I ran into her just the other week, six years later, she recognized me, said hello and we caught up a bit….it made my day that she acknowledged me, as she has grown into a beautiful young lady, but I don’t think I would have recognized her otherwise.

I thought about Newtown; the flagpole, the Edmund Town Hall where you can watch discount movies at a great price, eating ice cream at Ferris Creamery with my kids this past summer, eating many meals at the Exit 10 Diner (I miss diners! There’s nothing quite like them in the Midwest), and eating bagels from Bagel Delight.

At Longfellow Middle I thought not only about my son and his friends, teachers and classmates, but of the year I spent there also doing a school counseling internship. I thought about how it is the last building in town to become a secured building following the Sandy Hook tragedy. It’s doors are locked, but it isn’t until this summer that a new entrance will be built, flowing all foot traffic through the main office, like the other schools. When Longfellow was built 70+ years ago it was also used as a bomb shelter, the entrance wall is simply too thick to reconstruct, so a new main entrance will be added on to the existing main office just to the side of the main entrance. Post “Sandy Hook” our schools’ doors began being locked, lock down drills have become a part of our children’s lives and gun laws have created more headlines in our newspapers.

At Spence Elementary I thought of all the wonderful students and staff I just spent three months with while covering a maternity leave for the school counselor. There are wonderful, passionate and caring teachers throughout our school district, but to see it day in and day out for three months how students bond with their teachers, a fourth grader who truly wishes he still had his second grade teacher, the student who gets and gives hugs daily to teachers throughout the building and throughout his day; this all made me think of the teachers and staff whose lives were taken that cold day in December 2012.

At the flagpole in front of Hintgen Elementary I thought about my school counseling internship there and how when I was there my son was just in kindergarten (now in 7th grade). I thought about how I learned the power of using a puppet to connect with children, even if you’re not a ventriloquist. Kids at Head Start who I work with today and use a puppet with, may not always remember me or my name, but they remember my puppet and what “he” said. 

My knee began to ache so I took a walking break as I continued to Southern Bluffs, my kids’ elementary school and where I regularly sub. I eventually ran some more before walking the remaining 3+ miles. This virtual run of mine wasn’t so much about running as it was the cause and the kids. Southern Bluffs is on the edge of town and my course took me on a busy road and passed Wal-Mart where a man was standing at the entrance near the traffic light with a cardboard sign that said he was down on his luck and has two daughters. I was prepared to give him a smile and say hello as I ran past. He saw me coming and what he did next surprised me and made me smile. He pressed the walk button. It was such a simple gesture; such a polite, kind and thoughtful gesture……he saw what I needed, a walk sign so I didn’t have to stop running. As I ran by I said thank you and told him that I hoped that today was the day it all changed for him. Had I felt like I had more time or had I not been so focused on what I was doing, maybe I would have thought to ask him what he needed at this moment our lives were crossing. 

As I touched the flagpole at Southern Bluffs, there was no bottled water or notes on the ground or people around. I thought about how in the end all you have is yourself and how I enjoyed my solo run; I cheered myself on, I had deep thoughts in my mind, and thought about how five years ago my daughter was in kindergarten. I remembered picking her and her brother (then in third grade) up from school, all while my heart was breaking for those parents so near to my hometowns of Brookfield and Danbury, CT. My heart thanks them for turning this tragedy into a motto of “Love Runs Through” — kindness should be spread throughout all of our every days. 

Love Runs Through, and yesterday it ran through me as I ran through town.

Love Wins and Kindness is Warm

On January 28th I replied to the following post on Facebook.

We Are Newtown shared Newtown Pride FC's photo.

January 28 at 10:56am ·

We NEED 26 volunteers to help spread warmth in every community we can touch by helping us give away SCARVES! If you would like to help all you need to do is inbox us or Newtown Pride FC your name and address. We will send you a #newtownpridefc #wearenewtown scarf & you can give it to someone who needs it. Let's spread some warmth. #giveback #spreadwarmth #todayweplayfornewtown

I immediately sent the following message to We Are Newtown:

I grew up in Brookfield and Danbury and would love to help spread warmth here in Wisconsin where winters can be frigid.

You can mail me one at: XXXX and I will make sure it helps keep someone warm who needs it.

Thank you for continuing to spread love and positive experiences in the aftermath of the tragedy.

Yesterday in the mail I received a warm, thick Newtown scarf and with it the following note: “Thank you for volunteering to help us spread love & warmth! Please pass the scarf along with LOVE to someone in need. We really appreciate it! People like you willing to go the extra mile make anything possible! We just ask that you capture a picture with yourself or a loved one holding the scarf or the recipient! Inbox the picture to @WeAreNewtown or @NewtownPrideFC & we will share the gift of warmth!”

Scarf and note.

My son modeling the scarf in case the recipient didn't want their photo taken.

My daughter modeling the scarf in case the recipient didn't want their photo taken.

I knew just how and where to distribute the scarf, but what I didn’t know was how I was only going to hand out ONE scarf. We have a warming center in town that is open from November 1 - April 30 that provides a safe and warm location for local people over 18 who are homeless. This year the warming center moved out of a church where they had room for 15 people to a building downtown that has room for 34 people, a washer and dryer and shower facilities. The center is open from 7:00 pm - 8:00 am. There was no doubt in my mind that this is where I would find the recipient of the Newtown scarf.

I explained to my kids about the tragedy that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School two years ago. At this point I had not mentioned many details to my children about the event because I did not want to scare them and I wasn’t sure my heart was ready to have the conversation with them without breaking. I explained that the town of Newtown has chosen not to let this tragedy define their town and instead to use this tragedy to spread love and kindness and has adopted the slogan “Love Wins”. 26 lives were lost that December day in 2012 so off we went to Walmart to buy 26 scarfs to give out along with the Newtown scarf.

On the way to the warming center we talked more about the tragedy and at 5:30 with the temperature in the single digits I expected to see a line of people waiting to get inside the warming center. Instead what I saw was an open door welcoming people in out of the cold “early”. My husband, two elementary kids and I walked in and were asked by a volunteer if we were here for the training. I said, “No, we are here to donate scarves.” I was not sure what to expect or how I was going to go about the distribution, the only thing on my mind at that moment was the hope that I had enough scarves. What happened next surprised even me.

We walked into a crowded room of about 25 - 30 people sitting around tables and in a loud voice I said that I was looking for the coldest person in the room. See, I was hoping that the recipient of the Newtown scarf would “jump out” at me, but nobody did. A few people laughed and pointed to a guy. With a lump in my throat I explained about Sandy Hook ES and that we were chosen to share the warmth and love of the scarf and that we brought an additional 26 scarves in honor of those who died at the school. One man asked if he could have the scarf. People were grateful and excited to choose which scarf they wanted. I tossed them across the room like I was throwing t-shirts into the stands at a baseball game. 

Some of the 26 scarves we bought and donated.
People were excited to choose a print or color that suited them.

He wanted to show all of his green (hat).
He also put the flimsy scarf he already owned on top of his head. 

He was hamming it up for the camera; almost like doing "jazz hands".

I asked the man I gave the Newtown scarf to if I could take his picture and he said yes and hammed it up for the camera. He wrapped himself in the love and I could see how much he had needed it and how it brightened his day. He said that all the guns should be taken away, no one should have guns; instead we should give everyone chocolate he said. A man after my own heart. He asked my quiet husband to say something and told him, with a tear in his eye, that he was a good dad. He could tell because he was there. He shared with us that he has two daughters and that he isn’t there for him and thanked us for bringing the kids because it reminded him of his own kids. I told him sometimes you have to take care of yourself before you can be there for your kids and I offered him a hug and he gratefully accepted it. I held his hand which was much warmer than mine and smiled and announced that the warming center works! 

Another man sitting near me said it wasn’t about the guns, but the need for mental health services, I also agreed with him and we talked for a few minutes. He was a grateful man who eventually handed us back the fleece scarf, saying that he was allergic to polyester. He was dressed in a black hooded sweatshirt and black leather jacket, with gray hair both on his head and face. I jokingly apologized that we didn’t have a silk scarf for him and it brought a smile to his face and he laughed and said it was ok and once again thanked us for bringing the scarves. 

I enlisted my kids to hand out scarves to people. When we left there were still a few scarves left to find necks and hearts to warm. I was so thankful that we had enough scarves to share and two more people said that they were willing to have their photo taken, after I asked. Laughs, smiles and hugs were shared as we left the building.

When the man on the right said he would have his picture taken he modeled the scarf and got a laugh from me and others because I thought he was going to cover his entire face. The man standing in the background under the clock is the one allergic to polyester.

What was the hardest part about this experience? Leaving. Not so much because we had a warm home and comfortable bed to go to; but because I was sincerely enjoying spending time with these people and visiting with them. I could have spent hours there talking with them, but I also felt the need to leave them with their scarves. I hope to return to spread more love…

Thank you Newtown for sparking my family to purchase 26 scarves and donate to those who were in need of feeling loved (and warm). Thank you families of those 26 people whose lives were lost for finding a way to spread kindness and love in their memory. I  have shed tears for each of those whose lives were lost and yesterday I honored them the best I could. Love wins and kindness is contagious! 

La Crosse Runners for Sandy Hook (Newtown)

As you know I grew up in a border town of Newtown, CT. First, in Brookfield, then in Danbury. To catch up on my thoughts about Newtown read: http://darialeith.blogspot.com/2012/12/a-piece-of-my-thoughts-about-newtown.html

After the tragic events that occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary School my heart ached for the parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, teachers and anyone who had ever had the honor of knowing the lives that were lost.

As a runner I was excited when I heard a 5K run would be organized in honor of these families, and run in my hometown of Danbury. My first thought was of hopes that it would be scheduled for the summer so I could plan a trip to visit my father around the time of the run. When it was scheduled for Saturday, March 23 my mind began making new plans. I registered for the virtual run, paid my $25 and started mapping my 5K in my kids’ hometown of La Crosse, WI. My plan was to incorporate my children’s elementary school into my route.

This morning I was fortunate to have some running company which I am always grateful for since a majority of the time I am a solo runner. At the beginning of my 5-mile run I invited my friend, Heather, to run with me on March 23 whether she wished to register as a virtual runner or just to join me. I shared how I selfishly wanted to run by my kids’ school and that it may turn into a 5 mile or so run because I thought about running up to the ski hill, thinking about how much my kids (6 and 9 years old) enjoy skiing and how some of the kids from Sandy Hook may have liked skiing or wanted to learn and never had the chance. It was at this point in our conversation that the plan got bigger. My ears heard Heather say (and I won’t quote her, because I was running and not writing down what she said), Wouldn’t it be cool if we ran past all 11 elementary school in La Crosse. Oh my G-d, Heather that would be cool! (and a lot less selfish, and actually I think there are only 10 schools currently). About half a mile later we met up with Amanda and Toni, shared our idea, at which point my ears heard Toni say, Create an event on Facebook so I can invite the many, many runners I know that you don’t know. The idea grew and grew and by the end of the five-mile run I promised to map out a route and turn this into an event! So here I am at my computer completing step one of three.

Hours Later

Step two consisted of mapping a route to the 10 schools. Unfortunately, no way I map it can I find a route less than 21.6 miles. The farthest I have run is 13.1 miles. What began as a great idea, my body and mind will not allow me to do. Running 21 miles is just too much for me, I am being nothing short of honest with myself.

So, I have chosen to run a 9 mile route that includes 6 out of the 10 schools, including Emerson (Heather’s school), Hamilton, Spence (Amanda’s school), State Road, Hintgen and Southern Bluffs (my school). Essentially, this route will cover half of La Crosse.

In case you are interested to run the northside schools, the route from Northwoods Elementary School ending at Summit Elementary School is 7.1 miles and passes by Roosevelt and Franklin.

So, on Saturday, March 23 at 9:00 central time, myself and a few friends, and whomever they invite will be running from the Emerson Elementary School and ending at Southern Bluffs Elementary, touching the flagpole at every elementary school in between.

To register for the virtual run: Visit http://www.hartfordmarathon.com/Events/Sandy_Hook_Run_for_the_Families.htm and register for Sandy Hook Run for the Families.

A Piece of My Thoughts About Newtown, Connecticut

Between the summer of 1975 and the summer of 1993, Connecticut was the only place I knew as home. Between two towns I went to school while being raised by two New York City bred parents. Some kids took advantage of the rivers and hiking available around the state. I, on the other hand, most vividly remember visiting family in New York State. I lived in the part of the state that I, and others, joked wouldn’t exist without New York. I had very few friends that were actually born in Connecticut, and was always surprised when I met someone who was. We were all the offspring of New York parents who moved to the country looking for a quieter life for their children. If you know me or follow my posts you already know when I graduated high school I flew far and fast. I could go on and on about my CT childhood, but instead I provide this to you solely as background information.

For two years I grew up down the street from Newtown, albeit a long street, but I was only a street away.

Like residents of Newtown, CT I do not like the idea of Newtown becoming a Columbine or Jonesboro. A town synonymous with a school shooting. I have “liked” a group on Facebook called “We Are Newtown” that in addition to providing information about the horrific events and ways people around the world can help they post pictures of what “their Newtown” really is. I was a street away from a town that offered (and still does) $2 movies at The Edmond Town Hall and a flagpole situated right in the middle of an intersection. Directions in or through Newtown always contained the words “at the flagpole….” It was also the home of Fairfield Hills, a mental health hospital, that was the occasional butt of teenage insults.

The media has coined Newtown a quaint New England town. Yes, it has white clapboard buildings and is as picturesque as any small New England town, but the word “small” is such a relative term. Yes, it’s smaller than New York City where many of these reporters are based out of, but it makes my dad, who lives in a border town, “laugh” in confusion. Many towns in Connecticut are much smaller than Newtown, but to those out of the state; yes, Newtown is small.  Heck the entire state of Connecticut is small! The town is not small in the same way a Midwestern town is small. I doubt that everyone knows everybody and it is not small in the sense of farmland and country folk that rarely leave town. It is small in the sense that there are only two (that I can think of) shopping centers in town. It is small in that I bet everyone knows somebody who knows somebody. But, in that area of Connecticut a large part of the population live in large tree surrounded homes that they are proud of and able to afford as a result of commuting on average of an hour to work every day. 

Every time I visit my dad, about once a year, visiting my dear friend takes me traveling through Newtown, or I eat at the diner in Newtown, or I stop in town to buy bagels at the nearest bagel shop to his house. I have memories in Newtown, they are not many, they do not consist of long visits, but they are there in my mind vividly enough that the thought of the events that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School make my stomach turn just a little bit more than the random person in my Wisconsin small city. My heart aches as a mom, for all the parents, and my heart aches as a school counselor for all of the children. My heart aches because I have physically been in the town. I cannot describe this ache as anything more than my feet have been there so I ache; in the same way my heart ached when the F5 tornado ravaged Tuscaloosa, Alabama; the place I called home after I moved away from “small town” Connecticut.

For my running friends across the nation there is a memorial 5K run in Newtown, Connecticut tentatively set for March 23, 2013. They plan to have a virtual component to it and whether I am here or there on that day, my daughter’s 6 ½ half-birthday, I will run!