Love Wins and Kindness is Warm

On January 28th I replied to the following post on Facebook.

We Are Newtown shared Newtown Pride FC's photo.

January 28 at 10:56am ·

We NEED 26 volunteers to help spread warmth in every community we can touch by helping us give away SCARVES! If you would like to help all you need to do is inbox us or Newtown Pride FC your name and address. We will send you a #newtownpridefc #wearenewtown scarf & you can give it to someone who needs it. Let's spread some warmth. #giveback #spreadwarmth #todayweplayfornewtown

I immediately sent the following message to We Are Newtown:

I grew up in Brookfield and Danbury and would love to help spread warmth here in Wisconsin where winters can be frigid.

You can mail me one at: XXXX and I will make sure it helps keep someone warm who needs it.

Thank you for continuing to spread love and positive experiences in the aftermath of the tragedy.

Yesterday in the mail I received a warm, thick Newtown scarf and with it the following note: “Thank you for volunteering to help us spread love & warmth! Please pass the scarf along with LOVE to someone in need. We really appreciate it! People like you willing to go the extra mile make anything possible! We just ask that you capture a picture with yourself or a loved one holding the scarf or the recipient! Inbox the picture to @WeAreNewtown or @NewtownPrideFC & we will share the gift of warmth!”

Scarf and note.

My son modeling the scarf in case the recipient didn't want their photo taken.

My daughter modeling the scarf in case the recipient didn't want their photo taken.

I knew just how and where to distribute the scarf, but what I didn’t know was how I was only going to hand out ONE scarf. We have a warming center in town that is open from November 1 - April 30 that provides a safe and warm location for local people over 18 who are homeless. This year the warming center moved out of a church where they had room for 15 people to a building downtown that has room for 34 people, a washer and dryer and shower facilities. The center is open from 7:00 pm - 8:00 am. There was no doubt in my mind that this is where I would find the recipient of the Newtown scarf.

I explained to my kids about the tragedy that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School two years ago. At this point I had not mentioned many details to my children about the event because I did not want to scare them and I wasn’t sure my heart was ready to have the conversation with them without breaking. I explained that the town of Newtown has chosen not to let this tragedy define their town and instead to use this tragedy to spread love and kindness and has adopted the slogan “Love Wins”. 26 lives were lost that December day in 2012 so off we went to Walmart to buy 26 scarfs to give out along with the Newtown scarf.

On the way to the warming center we talked more about the tragedy and at 5:30 with the temperature in the single digits I expected to see a line of people waiting to get inside the warming center. Instead what I saw was an open door welcoming people in out of the cold “early”. My husband, two elementary kids and I walked in and were asked by a volunteer if we were here for the training. I said, “No, we are here to donate scarves.” I was not sure what to expect or how I was going to go about the distribution, the only thing on my mind at that moment was the hope that I had enough scarves. What happened next surprised even me.

We walked into a crowded room of about 25 - 30 people sitting around tables and in a loud voice I said that I was looking for the coldest person in the room. See, I was hoping that the recipient of the Newtown scarf would “jump out” at me, but nobody did. A few people laughed and pointed to a guy. With a lump in my throat I explained about Sandy Hook ES and that we were chosen to share the warmth and love of the scarf and that we brought an additional 26 scarves in honor of those who died at the school. One man asked if he could have the scarf. People were grateful and excited to choose which scarf they wanted. I tossed them across the room like I was throwing t-shirts into the stands at a baseball game. 

Some of the 26 scarves we bought and donated.
People were excited to choose a print or color that suited them.

He wanted to show all of his green (hat).
He also put the flimsy scarf he already owned on top of his head. 

He was hamming it up for the camera; almost like doing "jazz hands".

I asked the man I gave the Newtown scarf to if I could take his picture and he said yes and hammed it up for the camera. He wrapped himself in the love and I could see how much he had needed it and how it brightened his day. He said that all the guns should be taken away, no one should have guns; instead we should give everyone chocolate he said. A man after my own heart. He asked my quiet husband to say something and told him, with a tear in his eye, that he was a good dad. He could tell because he was there. He shared with us that he has two daughters and that he isn’t there for him and thanked us for bringing the kids because it reminded him of his own kids. I told him sometimes you have to take care of yourself before you can be there for your kids and I offered him a hug and he gratefully accepted it. I held his hand which was much warmer than mine and smiled and announced that the warming center works! 

Another man sitting near me said it wasn’t about the guns, but the need for mental health services, I also agreed with him and we talked for a few minutes. He was a grateful man who eventually handed us back the fleece scarf, saying that he was allergic to polyester. He was dressed in a black hooded sweatshirt and black leather jacket, with gray hair both on his head and face. I jokingly apologized that we didn’t have a silk scarf for him and it brought a smile to his face and he laughed and said it was ok and once again thanked us for bringing the scarves. 

I enlisted my kids to hand out scarves to people. When we left there were still a few scarves left to find necks and hearts to warm. I was so thankful that we had enough scarves to share and two more people said that they were willing to have their photo taken, after I asked. Laughs, smiles and hugs were shared as we left the building.

When the man on the right said he would have his picture taken he modeled the scarf and got a laugh from me and others because I thought he was going to cover his entire face. The man standing in the background under the clock is the one allergic to polyester.

What was the hardest part about this experience? Leaving. Not so much because we had a warm home and comfortable bed to go to; but because I was sincerely enjoying spending time with these people and visiting with them. I could have spent hours there talking with them, but I also felt the need to leave them with their scarves. I hope to return to spread more love…

Thank you Newtown for sparking my family to purchase 26 scarves and donate to those who were in need of feeling loved (and warm). Thank you families of those 26 people whose lives were lost for finding a way to spread kindness and love in their memory. I  have shed tears for each of those whose lives were lost and yesterday I honored them the best I could. Love wins and kindness is contagious!